"Mornin' Alabama! How y'all doin' today!? One thing's fo' sho', I need y'all's vote! Lordy bee, I been skootin' around so much I'm tired-er than a racoon at a garbage dump! I tell ya, I've been busier than a caterpillar at a toe-countin' contest!"

No, that's not Mitt Romney talking. It's his new alter-ego, Mr. Cheesy Grits. Romney, in his desperate, last minute attempt to win the Alabama and Mississippi primaries, has been trying to sound more Southern than Foghorn Leghorn. Nothing's more painful to watch than the uber-stiff, fake and uncomfortable Romney trying to connect with regular folk. Because the truth is, with Mitt Romney, there is no truth.

At a Dixie rally last week he told the crowd "I am learning to say y'all, and I like grits and things... strange things are happening to me." Strange for sure. But what's strange is that Romney thinks the way to win voters in the South is to turn them all into inarticulate, soul-food-eatin' caricatures. Perhaps a more effective strategy might've been to say, "Now I don't know a thing about fixing grits, and I'm not going to pretend I do. I'll leave that to Rick and Newt. But I'll tell you one thing, I know an awful lot about fixing the economy and creating jobs. That's why I deserve your vote."

But that won't ever happen on the Romney campaign trail, because that would require the candidate to sound like a real human being rather than a fork-tongued automaton who who wouldn't know honesty and sincerity if it hit 'em in the neckbone.

Romney is the "severely conservative" candidate with more flip-flops than a Birkenstock store. From abortion, immigration and taxes to gay marriage, health care and the environment... from the way he talks to the food he claims to eat... with Mitt Romney it's what you see is, well, we have no idea what we get."

In his March 12 column, Washington Post writer E. J. Dionne Jr. attempts some fraternal intimidation of the Catholic bishops of the United States prior to the meeting of the bishops’ conference administrative committee on Tuesday and Wednesday. The argument, such as it is, doubtless reflects certain currents of thought within the Church in the United States — those currents that are deeply uncomfortable with the bishops’ emphasis in recent years on a robust assertion of Catholic identity. But that is about as much as can be said for it; as a matter of theological or political reasoning, it’s pluperfect nonsense.

Dionne warns the bishops that, if they do not back off from their strong defense of religious freedom and find some way to reach agreement with an administration he insists is trying to accommodate their concerns, they risk becoming a church that no longer stands for both life and social justice. Worse, they risk becoming “the Tea Party at prayer.”

Keep reading this post . . .

Michael Hirsh, NJ
Recent events in Afghanistan, including Sunday’s horrific shooting of Afghan civilians by a U.S. soldier, are not just going to alter U.S. strategy there. They are very likely to upend it. Even before the latest tragedy, President Obama was trying to expedite his way out of that quagmire, which is already the longest war in American history, as he faced a tough fight at home for re-election. Now Obama is likely to only speed things up further.

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Defense Secretary Leon Panetta on Sunday offered his condolences to Afghan President Hamid Karzai for the shooting of Afghan civilians by a U.S. soldier. "I condemn such violence and am shocked and saddened that a U.S. service member is alleged to be involved, clearly acting outside his chain of command," Panetta said in a statement. "A full investigation is already under way. A suspect is in custody and I gave President Karzai my assurances that we will bring those responsible to justice," Panetta said. (Reporting by Missy Ryan; Editing by Bill Trott)

Chris Matthews bashed the GOP for its take on women in the 2012 election with a claim against the party on his Sunday morning show.

"One of the time warps these days is watching Republicans ignore the simple fact that women vote and are the majority voters," he said.

He replayed footage of Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin on the 2008 campaign trail. "With all the progress of those two iconic developments," he compared, "I do think it's odd the way we're talking about contraception — by the way, as if that's only a women's issue, it's a male female issue, obviously — and treating women like they're not really voters."

The Washington Post's Nia-Malika Henderson remarked that Republicans "are forgetting" that support from women voters was key to Obama winning the presidency in 2008, and called the debate over contraception a "surprising development." She also speculated that the GOP nominee would have to strongly consider choosing a female running mate in light of the recent uproar.

Following last week's jobs numbers that further cemented the belief that the U.S. economy is on the mend, Newt Gingrich shifted his criticism of the current Administration from economic issues to those of foreign policy, calling the U.S. mission in Afghanistan "not doable." Speaking on Fox News Sunday, the GOP candidate said that there is "something profoundly wrong with the way we're approaching the whole Middle Eastern region."

ZURICH (Reuters) - The chairwoman of watchmaker Swatch Group hopes to see double-digit sales growth this year, she told a newspaper on Sunday. "We have become used to recording double-digit growth rates so that eventually single-digit growth figures are almost seen as negative," chairwoman Nayla Hayek told the Blick am Sonntag newspaper in an interview. "But if everything goes well -- all indications speak in favor of that -- we will grow that way again in 2012." The group said this month it had seen double-digit growth in January and February. In January the firm said its sales rose to 7. ...

STARKVILLE, Mississippi (Reuters) - The last three inmates still in prison who had been pardoned by former Mississippi Governor Haley Barbour were released on Saturday, two days after the state's highest court cleared the way for their freedom. The release of the prisoners could be the final chapter in a controversial saga that began in January when Barbour issued more than 200 pardons as he left office, the most in modern Mississippi history. The pardons prompted an outcry from victims of those released and the families of victims. ...

BAGHDAD (Reuters) - At least 14 youths have been stoned to death in Baghdad in the past three weeks in what appears to be a campaign by Shi'ite militants against youths wearing Western-style "emo" clothes and haircuts, security and hospital sources say. Militants in Shi'ite neighborhoods where the stonings have taken place circulated lists on Saturday naming more youths targeted to be killed if they do not change the way they dress. ...

Top U.S. officials all the way up to President Barack Obama are predicting the Syrian regime's days are numbered, but recent U.S. intelligence reports suggest that the Syrian leader commands a formidable army that is unlikely to turn on him, an inner circle that has stayed loyal and a Syrian elite that still supports his rule.

ATHENS (Reuters) - Greece will hold a parliamentary election on April 29 at the earliest and may not hold the vote until May, a government spokesman said late on Friday, giving Prime Minister Lucas Papademos time to complete a debt deal to avert default. Greece's private-sector creditors agreed to accept steep cuts in the value of their bond holdings, opening the way for a 130-billion-euro ($170-billion) bailout by the European Union and the International Monetary Fund. ...

The American job market is still a long way from healthy, but its pulse feels a lot stronger now than it did six months ago. The improvement is a boon for President Obama as he tries to hold onto his own job in November, but both he and his Republican rivals say 8.3 percent unemployment is not low enough.

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Greece's private creditors agreed Friday to take cents on the euro in the biggest debt writedown in history, paving the way for an enormous second bailout for the country to keep Europe's economy from being dragged further into chaos.

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The top U.S. Air Force weapons buyer said on Friday he believed the paperwork problem that prompted him to cancel a $355 million contract for 20 planes to be sold to Afghanistan was an "isolated situation." David Van Buren, acting assistant secretary for acquisition, said an investigation was still under way, but he did not believe the case revealed a systemic problem with the Air Force acquisition process. "It's my belief from any information I know, subject to further analysis by the commander-directed investigation ... ...

Major Garrett, National Journal
In Obamaland, the 3 a.m. phone call has become the 3 a.m. e-mail. In their own way, both speak to a crisis mentality and a groping for security. The contexts couldn’t be more different, but the anxiety—real and imagined—is no less genuine.To review, the 3 a.m. phone call was in a TV ad Hillary Rodham Clinton ran against Obama in the heat of the Texas and Ohio primaries in 2008. It asked voters to ponder the fate of America if Barack Obama were president and a national crisis struck in the middle of the night. 

Paul Krugman, New York Times
One way in which Americans have always been exceptional has been in our support for education. First we took the lead in universal primary education; then the “high school movement” made us the first nation to embrace widespread secondary education. And after World War II, public support, including the G.I. Bill and a huge expansion of public universities, helped large numbers of Americans to get college degrees.

CAIRO/BEIRUT (Reuters) - Kofi Annan, the U.N.-Arab League envoy to Syria, said he would urge President Bashar al-Assad and his foes to stop fighting and seek a political solution, drawing angry rebukes from dissidents. "The killing has to stop and we need to find a way of putting in the appropriate reforms and moving forward," Annan said on Thursday in Cairo ahead of his trip to Damascus on Saturday. Syrian dissidents reacted with dismay and said government repression had destroyed prospects of a negotiated deal. ...

CAIRO/BEIRUT (Reuters) - Kofi Annan, the U.N.-Arab League envoy to Syria, said he would urge President Bashar al-Assad and his foes to stop fighting and seek a political solution, drawing angry rebukes from dissidents. "The killing has to stop and we need to find a way of putting in the appropriate reforms and moving forward," Annan said on Thursday in Cairo ahead of his trip to Damascus on Saturday. Syrian dissidents reacted with dismay and said government repression had destroyed prospects of a negotiated deal. ...

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - U.S. House Republican leaders are looking for a way to reshape the debate over the administration's new rule on birth-control insurance coverage before moving ahead with a bid to nullify the requirement. Representative Jeff Fortenberry, who has introduced legislation on the issue, acknowledged hesitation by some fellow Republicans to take on the incendiary issue. But he said a delay could give Republicans time to recast the issue as a question of religious freedom rather than women's rights. ...

Senate Foreign Relations Committee Chairman John Kerry said Thursday the violent crackdown by Bashar Assad's regime in Syria should not be tolerated, but the world must respond "in a responsible way."

Senate Foreign Relations Committee Chairman John Kerry said Thursday the violent crackdown by Bashar Assad's regime in Syria shouldn't be tolerated, but the world must respond "in a responsible way."

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Prescription drugs to treat some of the most common chronic diseases, such as high cholesterol and diabetes, may become available over the counter under a plan being considered by U.S. regulators. In what would be a major shift in policy if finalized, the Food and Drug Administration is seeking public comment until Friday on a way to make these medications more readily available. It will also have a meeting about the proposal at the end of March. The goal is to ensure people take drugs as needed, while still understanding safety issues. ...

SAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) - General Motors Co chief executive Dan Akerson said it may be two years before its European division is back in profit as the continent sheds over-capacity the same way the U.S. industry had to over the past half decade. The world's largest automaker has lost money in Europe for the last 12 years. "I think it'll be a good year or two before we can achieve profitability in Europe again," Akerson said at an on-stage interview conducted in San Francisco on Wednesday night. ...

Super Tuesday has come and gone but the Travel Detective has a plan for how the next person in office can boost tourism and bolster our economy.

Every day people tell me about their travel problems, and one issue that comes up again and again is U.S. Custom and Border Protection. The Obama administration has relaxed the visa waiver program, so when are they going to work with Customs and Border Protection to staff our airports in a proper way?

I experienced the problem first hand when I came in from Tokyo, landing in Los Angeles. American Airlines used to have their own international traveler processing facility, but this time they had closed the terminal to incoming passengers. After an 11-hour flight, we were shepherded over half a mile to the Tom Bradley customs area. Once we got there, we were stuck behind an Airbus 380 from Korean Airlines. It was madness -- and to make matters worse there were hundreds of people in front of us. It's understandable that it takes time to process two full planes. However, there are about 68 different inspection stations for Customs and Border Protection at Tom Bradley International and only 22 were staffed. That's less than a third.

Foreign passengers were waiting up to an hour! In the 2012, this is unacceptable!

The U.S. is about to have a huge influx of foreign visitors, following the Obama administration's new tourism plan. There is tremendous pent up demand for travel to the U.S., and we should aspire to make all visitors feel welcome. If the very first person you come in contact with is not welcoming, or you have to wait an hour to clear customs, it is not a good sign.

I'm not saying that we shouldn't have rules or security protection, but that we should be saying welcome to the United States. We haven't done that! We've had a lost decade of visitors because we weren't perceived as, nor were we, welcoming. That lost decade translates to millions of jobs lost in our country.

Do you know what we charge an Argentinian to come to the United States? A $131 visa-processing fee. How many people that does that visa fee alone disenfranchise? This is not the way to work. You want people to visit, spend money and experience our country.

The good news is that the Obama administration is changing the visa wait time from three to four months to two weeks. There is pent up demand from the Brazilians, the Chinese and the Indians, who want to come to the United States. And we need them. To put this into perspective, the average Chinese visitor spends $6,000 in one week in the U.S.

In order for this plan to work, we need to create a welcoming atmosphere. It's time to lobby our representatives in the House and Senate to properly staff our gateway city airports. We need to be more welcoming and once we do, our economy will thrive.