Ed Morrissey, Hot Air

Andrew Ferguson, Weekly Standard

I can just see the Lifetime movie title now: "Married to a terrorist: The Katherine Russell Story." With the constant barrage of information, and I use that word loosely, regarding the Boston Marathon bombings suspects--the inflammatory rhetoric of radicalization, jihadis and vengeful murder--Katherine Russell, the wife of Tamerlan Tsarnaev, has added another dimension to the evolving narrative of the Tsarnaev brothers: good Christian girl gone bad. Though much remains to be discovered regarding what actually led to the devastating attack in Boston, plenty has already been surmised. The media's focus on the religious identity of the two suspects has the nation talking about Muslim terrorists yet again. The Tsarnaev brothers may have been mentally disturbed, disgruntled with American foreign policy as some have claimed, or radicalized via online recruitment, but regardless of the motive for their actions, this is about them. This is not about me. Yet whenever a crime occurs and a Muslim is the suspect, the crime becomes about me. When society's discourse focuses on a faith, an ideology, a system of belief with more than a billion adherents, and fails to probe the individual, any hope for healing, for understanding, for recovery is lost. It doesn't become about how I can help my country move forward, it becomes about how I am one step further from being considered "all-American." The case of Katherine Russell, who may well be a victim herself, illustrates the media's voyeuristic fascination with the Muslim woman. She provides a spectacle for the public to shake their heads at because she is a tragic character, and her tragic flaw is her conversion to the Muslim faith. I cannot remember the last time the spouse of a criminal became the subject of such blatant speculation and gossip. Abcnews.com ran a video with the title: "Katherine Russell: Married to a suspected terrorist." An article on People.com includes the headline: "Katherine Russell Tsarnaev: From All-American Girl to Bomber's Wife." Yahoo News speculates regarding Russell's role in an innocuous YouTube promo video for a mosque, stating, "Naturally, one of the major curiosities is how faith may have played a role in the terror attack -- which is why a YouTube clip that was brought to our attention sparks some intrigue." Naturally. Why are such "curiosities" natural? Why has Russell been made infamous not for her connection to the alleged bomber as his spouse or for a crime herself, but for her status as a convert? Why did Russell lose her "All-American girl" title once she became Muslim? This simply gives the message to American Muslim girls that they can never be all-American--only semi-American, at best. The media's treatment of Russell as a deserter of her American identity because she embraced Islam only cements the position of the American Muslim on the fringes of society in our collective consciousness. How can Muslims, even those born in America like Russell or myself, function and feel like a part of the mainstream when they are viewed as foreigners? What hope do immigrants of other faiths have if even a white American has essentially been excommunicated from her identity as a "real" American for leaving the Christian faith? Russell has no hope of being seen as "normal;" it is impossible that she chose Islam of her own free will. "She was just this all-American girl who was brainwashed by her super-religious husband," according to an anonymous source quoted in The Daily Mail. An article posted on shine.yahoo.com says Russell's life took a turn for the worse after her conversion, "She converted to Islam, changed her name to Karima, dropped out of college, got married and was a mother by the time she was 21. On Saturday, the former all-American girl was spotted returning to the Cambridge apartment she had shared with her husband, wearing a brown-and-tan printed hijab as she climbed out of a car." Ah yes, the hijab, the scarlet letter of doom; once she donned that piece of cloth, she was clearly on a path toward self-destruction. "Before Katherine went to Suffolk she wore normal clothes like jeans, T-shirts and skirts," a neighbor, Paula Gillette, told The Daily Mail. "But when he came back she was wearing a white headscarf." Note: wearing a headscarf does not preclude one from also wearing "normal clothes like jeans." The portrayal of Russell as abnormal, an aberration exemplifying a fall from American grace, serves only to further the marginalization and alienation of Muslims in the U.S. Focusing on her with pitiable awe only deepens the rift in the Muslim/American identity when so many have struggled for decades to embody them as a single, compatible entity.

In the last few days, New Zealand and France became the 13th and 14th countries to legalize gay marriage, respectively. My home country, South Africa, legalized it in 2006, becoming the first African country to do so. Although it was a positive move, it doesn't mean that South Africa is progressive enough for gay people to live their lives entirely without fear. As in many of the countries that have made the move to legalize gay marriage, the decision was met with a good deal of criticism: Internet forums were splashed with derogatory comments, sermons and prayer groups were devoted to seeing the law revoked, and gay people were persecuted as much as, if not more than, ever before. In 2008, Eudy Simelane, a player in the national female soccer team, was a victim of "corrective rape" (a phenomenon in which lesbian women are gang-raped in order to be "cured" of their homosexuality) and murder. And last week, police cautioned against a serial killer who may be targeting gay men in Johannesburg -- with some people lauding the killer a "hero." This is partially why I follow the U.S. debate surrounding gay marriage with some interest. It's not because I'm gay but because I can't understand why there is so much straight hysteria surrounding the subject, with radicals blaming everything from Hurricane Sandy to the Boston Marathon bombing on Obama's support of gay marriage. "This is just the start," one man wrote on Facebook. "Who knows what will happen when the laws are actually passed?" You know what will happen, right? It happened to South Africa, and it will happen to you. Ready? Wait for it... A bunch of gay people will get married! They will do so the same way straight couples have been doing for years: Privately, with their friends and family, without you ever having to know about it. It's what has happened in South Africa. Gay people got married. The girl who came in third on Idols, the South African version of American Idol, got married. Two men got married in a traditional African ceremony, wearing animal skins and killing an ox so that their ancestors could bless their union. An avid rugby player I went to high school with got married to his partner, whom he met while traveling. A friend of mine from college is thinking of proposing to her longtime girlfriend. Gay people got married, and some got divorced, and some are living right across the road -- and my life has gone on as usual. I understand the religious fears. I've heard the argument that the biblical Sodom and Gomorrah were "homosexual cities," and that God decided to firmly and mercilessly "smite" them with fire. Therefore, by "endorsing" gay marriage or homosexuality, we open ourselves up to fire and damnation -- a sort of condemnation by association scenario, I'm assuming. Well, that hasn't happened over here yet. Seven years on, and the whole gay marriage thing is still as mundane as straight marriage. It hasn't shaken the foundations of society, and there is no sign of fire raining down from the sky. In other words, legalizing gay marriage will not make it easier to be a gay man, woman or couple. It's still a struggle, and a scandal, in many communities. My own friends who have come out have had a long, painful battle for acceptance. Some were able to open up to their parents in high school, some cracked under the pressure of bullying, and some are still grappling with the very idea of being "different" in their 30s. Some haven't spoken to their families in years. Some entered disastrous marriages with the opposite sex in order to "fit in." Thus, legalizing gay marriage has not changed the landscape of South Africa in any way, shape or form. The only effect it has had has been on gay people themselves, and on a deeply personal level. It also won't make it any harder for you to be a straight man or woman, or to raise your children with your values. It won't change your life -- and it might not even change the lives of gay people. You might therefore wonder why gay people would want the right to get married if it won't change anything. I've lived in the pre- and post-apartheid South Africa. I've seen people who didn't have the right to vote before 1994 go to the polls, year after year, and go home to the same shacks, in the same ill-protected, under-serviced slums, working the same jobs and going to the same subpar hospitals. Perhaps on the surface little has changed for that individual, but the right to vote has meant everything, even if it simply means that there is hope that things will improve for them in the future. Living with someone for years, knowing them intimately and yet having to do so without being seen as that person's legitimate, legal partner, and without being able to make important legal decisions with and for that loved one, is dehumanizing in the same way that denying someone the right to vote for who will govern them or access to an education in their home language. Legalizing gay marriage did not flip a magical switch that made our society more tolerant, but it was a very real gesture, a move in a direction where all people, no matter their sexual orientation, will be accepted for who they are, along with those whom they love.

SAN FRANCISCO — Racing to stanch a flow of criticism, the president of San Francisco's annual gay pride celebration said Friday that the U.S. Army private charged in a massive leak of U.S. secrets to the WikiLeaks website will not be an honorary grand marshal after all. SF Pride Board President Lisa Williams said in a statement that an employee of the organization had prematurely notified imprisoned intelligence specialist Bradley Manning this week that he had been selected for the distinction, which recognizes about a dozen celebrities, politicians and community organizations each year for their contributions to the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender communities. "That was an error, and that person has been disciplined. He does not now, nor did he at that time, speak for SF Pride," Williams said. A committee of former San Francisco Pride grand marshals did select the 25-year-old Manning, who is openly gay, for the honor, but the Pride Board decided his nomination would be a mistake, Williams said. Manning's lawyers have argued that his experience as a soldier before the repeal of the U.S. military's ban on gay service played an important role in his decision to pass hundreds of thousands of sensitive items to the anti-secrecy group WikiLeaks. "In point of fact, less than 15 people actually cast votes for Bradley Manning," Williams said. "However, as an organization with a responsibility to serve the broader community, SF Pride repudiates this vote." While the event's grand marshals are typically celebrated as they wave from convertibles during a downtown San Francisco parade, naming Manning as one was destined to be a symbolic gesture. He is in custody at a military prison in Kansas while he awaits court-martial and would have been unable to attend the June 30 parade. Earlier Friday, Daniel Ellsberg, the former military analyst who in 1971 leaked the classified information about the Vietnam War that became known as the Pentagon Papers, had agreed to participate in the San Francisco parade on Manning's behalf, said Rainey Reitman, a member of the Bradley Manning Support Network who had cheered the short-lived recognition. But other gay rights activists were less enthusiastic, saying that Manning should not be honored either as an individual or as a representative of the gay rights movement. "Manning's blatant disregard for the safety of our service members and the security of our nation should not be praised," said Stephen Peters, president of American Military Partners Association. The group, which advocates for same-sex military families, had called on the Pride Committee to rescind the invitation. "No community of such a strong and resilient people should be represented by the treacherous acts that define Bradley Manning," Peters said.

With all the considerable news coverage and analysis of the twin April 15 bombings that left three people dead and 282 others injured, including 16 who lost limbs, there's been practically no reference to the plentiful examples of similar violence in our nation's history, sadly. The Boston bombings are being reported on and viewed strictly in the context of a "war on terror" started by President Bush in the aftermath of the World Trade Center bombings and continued with vigor by the Obama administration, an imprudent war that has always lacked any true definition of enemy or purpose. And the lack of reference to American historical precedent over the last two centuries, which is replete with similar instances of mass violence and bombings resulting from unabated reverence for political and/or religious teachings, incorrectly builds the significance of the Boston bombings. In fact, the only historical reference really made was mention of Timothy McVeigh and the Oklahoma City bombings, a terrorist attack on the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in downtown Oklahoma City on April 19, 1995, which was the most destructive anarchist bombing act in American history if correctly framed in purely anarchist terms. If there's a lesson to be learned from Boston, it is that we need to, on the one hand, frame the "war on terror" as a fight against an organized Islamist-fascist enemy abroad, which has so far been avoided, in deference to political correctness and misguided internationalism, and, on the other, define individual acts of anarchy on American soil as such in traditional terms and not in warlike terms that encompass unwise references to acts of war and treason. Unlike the attack on the World Trade Center in 2001, the recent Boston bombings are just the latest of criminal bombings, or, in today's lingo, "acts of mass destruction," that Americans have dealt with since the inception of the nation. And our lack of knowledge and reference to these historical precedents continues to wrongfully guide both our government's lack of will to differentiate between war and domestic anarchy and our citizens' acquiescence to a reduction of our constitutional rights. Back in the early 20th century, "terrorists" were referred to as "anarchists" (basically the same thing) and carried out what would be termed these days as "acts of war." President McKinley was assassinated by one such anarchist, Leon Czolgosz, in 1901 in Buffalo, N.Y. Between the years 1919 and 1920, anarchists led by Luigi Galleani, an immigrant from Italy, mailed bombs to banks, government offices and other institutions and carried out assassination attempts on prominent American businessmen and politicians. That led to the Red Scare that resulted in substantial illegal searches and seizures, unwarranted arrests and detentions and the deportation of several hundred suspected radicals and anarchists. Much like the government actions in the Red Scare, the tragic events in Boston, framed as an act of war, could continue to allow the federal government to violate and decrease our constitutional rights and individual liberties in the name of fighting terrorism. Sure, there's been some debate and significant questions raised by the Obama administration's decision to administer the reading of Miranda rights to the younger, surviving Tsarnaev brother; some congresspeople are calling for him to be declared an "enemy combatant," which would suspend his constitutional rights and due process. But framing such debate in any other context, like characterizing the bombings as an act of political or religious violence or purely in criminal terms, not only would decrease the Boston bombings' newsworthy significance but would diminish the symbolic magnitude of its destruction as an act of war and international terrorism. In fact, the issue surrounding trying Tsarnaev as a criminal or as a treasonous terrorist soldier was strictly framed in the perspective of how to punish, and hang, average Americans citizens acting as terrorists in alleged wartime conditions. And it was silly, because any confession garnered from Tsarnaev would probably have been superfluous given the massive amount of evidence already amassed by the FBI against him, much of it from witnesses using social media and camera surveillance of public places in Boston. Referring to the question of whether the Tsarnaev brothers were "homegrown" or "international" terrorists, Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) stated, "This is Exhibit A of why the homeland is the battlefield." The conduct of all war, whether propagated by individuals, rogue groups or nations, is pure and simple acts of terror, organized or not. Framing the Boston bombing as a terrorist act without viewing it in a historical context will, in the end, lead to justification of the depreciation of individual liberties, all in the misguided name of national security. The Tsarnaev brothers were nothing more than immigrant anarchists carrying on a tradition of political violence, this time framed in religious fervor. And we should not get carried away in exaggerating the significance of their attack, in light of our historical past. On April 15, Boston and America were truly not another battlefield in the "war on terror." Cross-posted from The Florida Squeeze. Steven Kurlander, Esq. is an attorney and communications strategist from Monticello, N.Y. He blogs at Kurly's Kommentary and for the The Florida Squeeze. He can be emailed at kurly@stevenkurlander.com.

Every so often, I write an article (mostly) in tongue-in-cheek fashion, where (usually out of frustration) I offer up some sort of reductio ad absurdum solution to all the world's ills. This game is also known as "If I ran the world, things would be different, dammit!" by its proper name. This vents my frustration, and (if I've done the job right) provides a bit of amusement for the readers. Every so often, after I write one of these, it (largely, or in part) comes true. Leaving me to ponder what's wackier, the errant thoughts in my head, or life itself. That was all a prelude to the breaking news today: "Congress moves at lightspeed, to fix a problem that would have hit them personally, as they take yet another weeklong vacation instead of doing the nation's business." Could've knocked me over with a feather. Ahem. Back at the end of February, I wrote, rather cynically, of how I would implement the sequester, were it up to me. This consisted of one simple idea, really: "sequester the living heck out of Washington's National Airport." Let Congress see the results of austerity right in their faces, as they fly home every weekend. I ended this article with a prediction: The problem with many in Congress (and I am not even discriminating by party, here) is that they get incredibly out of touch with how the decisions they make in the halls of Congress actually affect Americans' lives. For once, shouldn't they be the first ones to feel the impact of their actions (or, in this case, inaction)? It seems entirely fitting and reasonable to me to move cuts which make life tough for Congress to the front of the line in the budget wars. Bringing the Washington area airports (starting with National) to a crawl would indeed hit home. In fact, it would hit them on their way home. The public (at least those outside of the Beltway region) would probably support such a move. Obama could pitch it as: "Want to slash federal spending? OK, you first!" I'm sure a lot of folks would see the justice in such an approach. In my opinion, it's certainly worth a try. Want the sequester to happen? Fine. Then we'll just sequester National Airport into the ground, until it (or you) screams for mercy. I bet it would take less than three weeks for Congress to crack. Well, I was right and I was wrong, as it turns out. It didn't take Congress three weeks to crack, it took one single week -- coupled with the fifth time this year they're taking a weeklong vacation. The House is currently scheduled to work a whopping 126 days for the entire year, but that's a frustration for another day. Seeing as how I wrote the article in a rather unserious frame of mind, I also didn't foresee what should really have been obvious -- that Congress would not tackle fixing the sequester, but that they'd rather fix only the part which affected them personally. Cancer patients, Head Start teachers, and all the rest of the Americans without a powerful lobby? You're on your own, sorry. The real message of this week is a simple one: for all the talk about how "Congress is broken" and "Congress can't do anything," the hard cold truth is that Congress is indeed capable of moving very quickly indeed -- when it wants to. Inside of one week they put a bill on President Obama's desk. That's the yardstick to measure all other legislation -- legislation which affects other Americans than "those in Congress" -- when you hear either Harry Reid or John Boehner moan about "process" or some other wonky way of describing "sitting on our fat asses and not producing legislation." Sorry guys, but when you are personally motivated, it takes one single week to pass a law. Especially when you buckle down and concentrate, without getting distracted by attending hearings on America's job crisis (and other subjects which don't affect you personally). One week. That's the standard we can now hold you to. We'll be sure to remember that. Speaking of holding politicians and government officials to a higher standard (pun intended), our nation's drug czar isn't having such a good week. He dutifully rolled out this year's official White House drug policy document, which can be summed up in its entirety as "Drugs are bad... mmm'kay?" Even though marijuana laws are drastically changing since the last report, R. Gil Kerlikowske, the director of the White House Office on National Drug Control Policy, didn't use the word "marijuana" once in either the press release he penned celebrating the report, or on the official White House rollout site. This led me to write another of those tongue-in-cheek articles, where I assigned Kerlikowske a grade of "D-minus" or "Incomplete" for his efforts. Amusingly enough, within days a government report was released from the General Accounting Office which revealed Kerlikowske and the federal government "have not made progress toward achieving most of the goals articulated in the 2010 National Drug Control Strategy." Hey, austerity-lovers -- how about some cuts here, guys? Government programs that don't work... does that ring a bell? Sigh. And to wrap up with this week, we're all supposed to be saying something nice about George W. Bush, apparently. Um, OK, here goes: I'd like to thank George W. Bush for his absolute disappearance from the political stage. Well, that is rather tongue-in-cheek as well, but honestly, I am thankful that Bush isn't putting himself out on the conservative media circuit every ten minutes, in order to bash every tiny thing Republicans think is wrong with Barack Obama. I do mean that sincerely, in fact. Compare Bush's retirement from office to Dick Cheney's, to see the difference.   Well, we had a few impressive moments this week for Democrats, we are happy to report. Rhode Island took a giant leap on the way to being the tenth state to legalize gay marriage this week, and in quite impressive fashion, too -- by passing a bill through the legislature. Hopefully, more states will be taking this route in the near future. Well done, Ocean State! In what might be called a showdown of the Chucks (or other creative names, some of them involving the word "up," no doubt... ahem...) Senator Chuck Schumer very successfully "troll-baited" Senator Chuck Grassley this week, on the subject of immigration reform. Schumer laid a trap for Grassley, and Grassley walked right into it. The video is priceless to behold, so I encourage everyone to do so. For such masterful use of deniability, Chuck Schumer gets an Honorable Mention this week. Barack Obama addressed a Planned Parenthood meeting this week, and gave a rousing speech in support of women's rights, earning him his own Honorable Mention (more on what the opposition is doing in the War On Women later...). But our Most Impressive Democrat Of The Week is a state legislator in Nevada, Senator Kelvin Atkinson. As an emotional debate over gay marriage laws was taking place, Atkinson surprised many by standing up and simply stating "I'm gay." As he put it, "I didn't think. I just knew it was time." There's really not a whole lot more I need to say about this story. He's right -- it is time. And the only way others are going to see it is if more and more folks are as open about who they are as Kelvin Atkinson. So a hearty "Well done!" for your public announcement, senator! It has earned you this week's Most Impressive Democrat Of The Week award. [Congratulate Nevada state Senator Kelvin Atkinson on his official contact page, to let him know you appreciate his efforts.]   Anthony Weiner, possible candidate for New York City mayor, can't really say whether there might be more embarassing photos of his... um... last name?... out there for opposition politicians to... er... expose. Boy, the jokes just write themselves, don't they? While, if he does run, we'll all be roasting this particular Weiner for months to come, we still have to hand him at least a (Dis-)Honorable Mention for his admission that, amazingly, we might possibly not have seen all of him quite yet, if you know what I mean. But this week was notable for another announcement, from Senator Max Baucus, who informed the world that he will not be seeking his 84th term in office, because (you can't make this stuff up, although, full disclosure, I admit I did just make up that "84th term" bit, just for fun...) voices in his head told him not to run again. As he wrote in an op-ed explaining his decision: It whispered to me among the elk resting in a meadow east of the Bridger Mountains. I heard it as thousands of snow geese flew over the Rocky Mountain Front. The pull came up from my soul like the ducks that rose in clouds from the winter wheat fields of Teton County at dusk. Allow me to translate from the poetic, here. What the elk and the geese and ducks were whispering to Max was: "Max, you are a corporate special-interest whore, and your presence in Washington is downright offensive to every elk, goose, and duck in Montana -- to say nothing of your human constituents. You care not for party, state, or country, your only care is sucking up to the industries and groups which shower you with money. You, Sir, are everything that is wrong with Washington. You will not be missed. For the love of all that's holy, please step down now and let Brian Schweitzer take a run at the Senate. Oh, and please don't screw things up worse than you already have before you actually step down. We fully expect you to live the rest of your life in luxury, paid for by how you prostituted yourself and your office, and hope you don't torpedo good legislation from now until the end of next year." Stick that whisper in your ear, Senator Baucus, and add to it your seventh Most Disappointing Democrat Of The Week award, which we are awarding sheerly on general principles. We haven't been this glad to see a "Democrat" leave the Senate since the exodus of Joe Lieberman. Good riddance, Max. [Are you a Montanan duck, goose, or elk? Would you like to whisper something? Well, then, feel free to contact Senator Max Baucus on his Senate contact page, to let him know what you think of his actions.]   Volume 255 (4/26/13) Some weeks, here at Talking Points Central, we offer up positive things for Democrats to speak about. And then other weeks, we just wallow in Republican-bashing, just because we can. This is going to be one of the former weeks (hey, even the conservative wordsmith Frank Luntz seems to be doing so this week). The one exception is the first talking point this week, which we stuck in there for people who grew up enjoying "album rock" in or around Baltimore in the 1970s and 80s. You're welcome, and yes, WHFS did indeed rule. Before we get to helium brains, though, we've got to stick in one late-breaking bit of snark -- again, just because we can. Michele Bachmann tried to appear erudite while blaming Nancy Pelosi for everything she doesn't like, and instead came across as rather-less-than-erudite, in her attempt to quote Shakespeare. Which only prompts us to respond with a bit of Bard-quoting on our own, in response to pretty much anything Michele Bachmann has ever said in public: "It is a tale. Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing." OK, nothing like a little Shakespeare to get the ball rolling! Here we go...      Helium brains As promised, this one's for Crack The Sky fans, just because. Congress just voted overwhelmingly to continue the national helium reserve in the panhandle of Texas. This stockpile of helium was created for military purposes, to keep our nation safe in times of war. Specifically, so we'd never experience a "zeppelin gap" or a "blimp gap" with other nations. Yep, that's right, this is a holdover from World War I. Which Congress has never, ever been able to get rid of, for the obvious reason that it is not necessary in the slightest anymore, and has not been for 70 or 80 years, minimum. The lyrics to the song "Lighten Up McGraw" immediately popped into my head, in response (from the most-excellent album Safety In Numbers which I highly recommend in general), so I thought I'd share them with you as an all-around indictment of the relative intelligence of Congress and the federal government in general: Lighten up McGrawYou're a helium brainJog a mile in the rainBest of luckCome again      Why not give him a call? Maybe after a drink or two... Speaking of helium brains... "I notice that Mark 'Appalachian Trail' Sanford has actually put his personal cell phone number in a political ad. He wants you all to call him up and tell him what you think. So for anyone in South Carolina, for anyone outside of the state, in fact, for anyone who is enjoying a few adult beverages late into the night this weekend, why not give Mark a call? He really, really wants to hear what you think. Make it a drinking game, and pass around a cell phone! You don't get this chance too often with politicians, so enjoy the opportunity to call him up and ask him how that Appalachian Trail hike is going these days!"      Hypocrisy in the highest of officials In other "adult substance" news... "I see that New York Republican lawmaker Steve Katz has gotten no more than a slap on the wrist for being caught possessing marijuana -- even though he has voted against reforming marijuana laws in the past. Hypocrisy knows no bounds in Albany, I guess. Hey, Assemblyman Katz, it's a good thing those harsh Rockefeller drug laws your state used to have don't exist anymore... due to reforming marijuana laws, huh? How about as part of your public service you have to visit some cancer patients who want you to allow them to smoke medicinal marijuana legally? It seems only fitting."      So much for an independent judiciary... Over in Iowa, some Republicans came up with a dandy idea -- shred the Constitution by making their state supreme court kowtow to political factions in the legislature. What could possibly be wrong with that idea? "Republicans in Iowa are apparently trying to slash the pay of their state supreme court justices. 'More austerity?' you might ask yourself, but the answer is no -- this isn't being done to save money, but to punish the judges. But the truly and wildly unconstitutional part of the idea is that only the judges who voted for gay marriage will have their pay cut. Judges that voted the way Republicans think they ought to have will still be getting their full salary under this plan. Um, guys? It's supposed to be 'checks and balances' and not 'chainsaws and legislative tyranny.' Maybe you really ought to rethink this one, and might I suggest a group reading of the Constitution to help you do so?"      Hot enough for you? We take you now live, to the War On Women, part one... "Republicans keep trying to get the public to believe they aren't deeply invested in waging a war on women and women's rights, and then they turn around and do some pretty stupid stuff, once again. Take, for instance, the Republican Party in New Mexico. The executive director of Bernalillo County Republican Party, a man whose 'recent activity on Facebook includes watching a video of a bottomless woman with a "Lost Skirt in Public",' mind you, felt it necessary to share with the world his reaction to a 19-year-old woman who had just testified in front of him: 'Nice hat Working America chick but damn you are a radical bitch,' and then follow this up with, 'she was hot enough to almost make me register democrat.' If this weren't enough, he also used the term 'Gestapo' for the Democratic chairwoman. Jumping into the fray was the man who previously held the job of executive director of the county Republicans, who opined upon the boots worn by the 19-year-old and the possibility that she walked the streets in them, noting strangely: 'Even in this economy she can exchange bumper cables for boots.' Nah, there's no Republican War On Women -- it's purely a figment of all our imaginations! Yeah, that's it! Way to stay classy, Bernalillo County Republicans!"      Not the way to get votes, guys War On Women, part the second... "I see a man who worked on campaigns for both Paul Ryan and Newt Gingrich has been arrested and charged with blackmail and extortion for sending messages to women stating that he had nude pictures of them and unless they sent him more nude pictures he would share what he had with their family, friends, and in one case, the Republican National Committee. Makes you almost nostalgic for the innocent days of Anthony Weiner's cell phone follies, doesn't it?"      Shooting his mouth off There are no words for this one, really. "If you live in Benton County, Arkansas and get the Republican Party newsletter, this month you were treated to a diatribe by a man called Chris Nogy, who outlined his plan to deal with Republicans in the state government who didn't vote the way he wanted. His solution is to shoot them all. Specifically, and I quote, The 2nd amendment means nothing unless those in power believe you would have no problem simply walking up and shooting them if they got too far out of line and stopped responding as representatives. Unquote. He even magnanimously lets Democrats off the hook, stating, 'I don't feel the same way about the Democrats as bullet backstops as I do about the Republicans who joined them.' I'm still waiting to see how many other Republicans feel that the Second Amendment to the United States Constitution actually means elected officials should just be shot down on the street. No wonder passing background checks is so hard, if this is what the other side truly believes. I'm speechless, to tell you the truth."   Chris Weigant blogs at: Follow Chris on Twitter: @ChrisWeigantBecome a fan of Chris on Huffington PostFull archives of FTP columns: FridayTalkingPoints.comAll-time award winners leaderboard, by rank  

Kal Penn may be most recognizable as Kumar from the stoner film franchise "Harold & Kumar", but the actor has also made headlines for his work and advocacy for President Barack Obama. He even stepped away from Hollywood in 2009 to serve the Obama administration as associate director of the Office of Public Engagement. On HuffPost Live Friday, Penn spoke about his relationship with Obama and defended the president's attention to marijuana reform, saying Obama has been firm on his stance that he wants the Justice Department to focus on violent offenders.

BOSTON — Boston Marathon bombing suspect Dzhohkar Tsarnaev was moved from a hospital to a federal prison medical center while FBI agents shifted the focus of their investigation to how the deadly plot was pulled off and searched for evidence Friday in a landfill near the college he attended. Tsarnaev, 19, was taken from Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center, where he was recovering from a throat wound and other injuries suffered during an attempt to elude police last week, and was transferred to the Federal Medical Center Devens, about 40 miles from Boston, the U.S. Marshals Service said. The facility, at a former Army base, treats federal prisoners. "It's where he should be; he doesn't need to be here anymore," said Beth Israel patient Linda Zamansky, who thought his absence could reduce stress on bombing victims who have been recovering at the hospital under tight security. The FBI's investigation of the April 15 bombing has turned from identification and apprehension of suspects to piecing together details of the plot, including how long the planning took, how it was carried out and whether anyone else knew or was involved. A federal law enforcement official not authorized to speak on the record about the investigation told The Associated Press on the condition of anonymity on Friday that the FBI was gathering evidence regarding "everything imaginable." FBI agents picked through a landfill near the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth, where Tsarnaev was a sophomore. FBI spokesman Jim Martin would not say what investigators were looking for. An aerial photo in Friday's Boston Globe showed a line of more than 20 investigators, all dressed in white overalls and yellow boots, picking over the garbage with shovels or rakes. U.S. officials, meanwhile, said that the bombing suspects' mother had been added to a federal terrorism database about 18 months before the deadly attack – a disclosure that deepens the mystery around the Tsarnaev family and marks the first time American authorities have acknowledged that Zubeidat Tsarnaeva was under investigation before the tragedy. The news is certain to fuel questions about whether President Barack Obama's administration missed opportunities to thwart the marathon bombing, which killed three people and wounded more than 260. Tsarnaev is charged with joining with his older brother, now dead, in setting off the shrapnel-packed pressure-cooker bombs. The brothers are ethnic Chechens from Russia who came to the United States about a decade ago with their parents. Investigators have said it appears that the brothers were angry about the U.S. wars in Afghanistan and Iraq. Two government officials, speaking on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to speak publicly about the investigation, said the CIA had Zubeidat Tsarnaeva's name added to the terror database along with that of her son Tamerlan Tsarnaev after Russia contacted the agency in 2011 with concerns that the two were religious militants. About six months earlier, the FBI investigated mother and son, also at Russia's request, one of the officials said. The FBI found no ties to terrorism. Previously U.S. officials had said only that the FBI investigated Tamerlan Tsarnaev. In an interview from Russia, Tsarnaeva said Friday that she has never been linked to terrorism. "It's all lies and hypocrisy," she said from Dagestan. "I'm sick and tired of all this nonsense that they make up about me and my children. People know me as a regular person, and I've never been mixed up in any criminal intentions, especially any linked to terrorism." Tsarnaeva faces shoplifting charges in the U.S. over the theft of more than $1,624 worth of women's clothing from a Lord & Taylor department store in Natick in 2012. Earlier this week, she said she has been assured by lawyers that she would not be arrested if she traveled to the U.S., but she said she was still deciding whether to go. The suspects' father, Anzor Tsarnaev, said that he would leave Russia soon for the United States to visit one son and lay the other to rest. A team of investigators from the U.S. Embassy in Moscow has questioned both parents in Russia this week, spending many hours with the mother in particular over two days. Meanwhile, New York's police commissioner said the FBI was too slow to inform the city that the Boston Marathon suspects had been planning to bomb Times Square days after the attack at the race. Federal investigators learned about the short-lived scheme from a hospitalized Dzhokhar Tsarnaev during a bedside interrogation that began Sunday night and extended into Monday morning, officials said. The information didn't reach the New York Police Department until Wednesday night. "We did express our concerns over the lag," said police Commissioner Raymond Kelly, who with Mayor Michael Bloomberg had announced the findings on Thursday. The FBI had no comment Friday. ___ Sullivan reported from Washington. Contributing to this report were Associated Press writers Rodrique Ngowi in Boston, Colleen Long in New York and Pete Yost and Julie Pace in Washington.

The Truth-o-Meter says: Mostly False | Rep. Tom Cotton says more terrorists have 'reached their targets' under Barack Obama than under George W. Bush During a House floor speech just days after the Boston Marathon bombing, Rep. Tom Cotton, R-Ark., sought to compare President Barack Obama’s record on terrorism unfavorably to that of Obama’s predecessor in the White House, George W. Bush. "I rise today to express grave doubts about the Obama administration’s counterterrorism policies and programs. ..." Cotton said. "In barely four years in office, five jihadists have reached their targets in the United States under Barack Obama: the Boston Marathon Bomber, the Underwear Bomber, the Times Square Bomber, the Fort Hood shooter, and, in my own state, the ... >> More

The Truth-o-Meter says: Mostly False | Eric Cantor says FAA could cut funds to avoid furloughs With frustrated travelers tapping their feet in the nation’s airports this week, politicians responded with alarm to flight delays brought on by federal budget cuts. Beginning Monday, April 22, 2013, furloughs of air traffic controllers began to take effect under sequestration, a deficit-reduction measure that bluntly cuts federal agency budgets. The furloughs triggered flight delays around the country as the FAA scaled back the number of planes that could take off and land because the agency had fewer controllers to direct them. U.S. House Majority Leader Eric Cantor, R-Va., joined the criticism that the FAA is maximizing ... >> More

On Sunday, April 28th, we observe Workers Memorial Day. It is a day to honor those workers who have died, been disabled, injured or made sick by their work. It is also a day to acknowledge the suffering experienced by families and communities and to recommit ourselves to the fight for safe and healthy workplace for all workers. As the new Chairman of the Senate Subcommittee on Employment and Workplace Safety, I am committed to working with employers and workers to do everything possible to make the workplace safer and to target bad actors. Too many people each year mark this day by remembering loved ones lost in a workplace tragedy. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, in 2011, the most recent data available, 4,693 workers in the U.S. and 186 in Pennsylvania were killed on the job, nearly 4 million were injured and an estimated 50,000 to 60,000 died from occupational diseases. That's about 150 worker deaths per day. These aren't just numbers - each individual worker represents a family or loved one who is equally impacted by the tragedy. This year's Worker Memorial Day is particularly poignant due to the occupational safety tragedies of late, including the fertilizer explosion in West, Texas last week that injured over 200 and has claimed 14 lives, including two employees of the plant, five EMS responders, five volunteer firefighters and two neighboring residents. While work is just beginning on determining the cause of this incident I pledge to work to do everything in my power to make sure those workers and their families are respected and honored throughout that process. While many whistleblower statutes have been updated in recent years, important federal protections for workers who report unsafe working conditions have not been updated since the Nixon Administration. Workers see first-hand the hazards on the job and in their workplaces, and they are an important resource in addressing these hazards. But in order for workers to properly identify and report workplace hazards, they must first have confidence that they will not lose their jobs or face other types of retaliation for doing so. It is clear that OSHA whistleblower protections must be updated. I am also supporting new legislation to update our workplace safety laws and enforcement tools to reduce the number of work related injuries and deaths. The Protecting America's Workers Act expands and strengthens workplace safety law by amending the Occupational Safety and Health Act to cover more workers, update penalties, strengthen protections, enhance public accountability, and clarify an employer's duty to provide safe work environment. This legislation is good for workers and it's good for business. While some progress has been made to protect the health and safety of coal miners since 29 miners were killed in the 2010 Upper Big Branch mine tragedy, the investigations of that disaster led to additional recommendations that have been incorporated into legislation I am supporting, the Robert C. Byrd Mine and Workplace Safety and Health Act. We must learn from this horrible tragedy and make changes to protect the health and safety of coal miners. Every worker deserves to be confident that while doing their jobs, their employers are doing everything they can to protect them. And no employer who provides a safe workplace should be at a competitive disadvantage to those that take short cuts and disregard safety laws at the expense of safety.

WASHINGTON -- Air Force Secretary Michael Donley will step down after a five-year tenure during which he improved the service's handling of nuclear materials, but had to deal with scandals surrounding aircraft contracts, sexual assaults by service members and the mishandling of war dead. Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel said in a statement Friday that Donley is returning to private life. His last day on the job is June 21. "His leadership came during a challenging time for the Air Force, and he helped instill a culture of responsibility, initiative, and professionalism to the service," Hagel said. Donley was serving as the Pentagon's director of administration in 2008 when then-Defense Secretary Robert Gates fired the Air Force's chief of staff and secretary amid an embarrassing series of nuclear-related errors. Gates then tapped Donley to take the Air Force post, and he led the effort to restore the Air Force's relationship with top Pentagon leaders. Over that same time, he has helped direct the service's transformation to a greater reliance on unmanned aircraft, now a critical element in the nation's warfighting capabilities. While Donley worked to get the nuclear mission back on track, he also became mired in the troubled task to resolve disputes that repeatedly stalled the Air Force's contract to replace its aging fleet of refueling tankers. After repeated stumbles, including the criminal conviction of a Defense Department official and an initial contract award that was overturned, the Air Force in 2011 successfully gave the contract to Chicago-based Boeing Co. Later that year, however, Donley faced criticism over a gruesome series of revelations about the mishandling of the nation's war dead at the Dover Air Force Base mortuary in Delaware. A review found that workers lost body parts of servicemen returning from Afghanistan and that some cremated remains were dumped in an area landfill. More recently, the service has been hounded by sexual assault scandals, including an investigation that found that 32 military training instructors allegedly engaged in inappropriate or coercive sexual relationships with 59 recruits and airmen at Joint Base San Antonio-Lackland. While increased instances of sexual assault and harassment have been spread widely across the services, the Air Force came under fire from Congress members this year after a senior officer overturned a guilty verdict in an assault case. Hagel has recommended changing the law to largely strip military commanders of the ability to reverse criminal convictions. __ Follow Lolita Baldor on Twitter at: https://twitter.com/lbaldor

America's consumption problem reached new heights today when Congress had to re-up our supply of helium, the second-most common substance in the universe. Rep. Hank Johnson delivered a heartfelt defense of the element, which could be put in balloons and used to keep Guam from capsizing. And Max Baucus wrote that the whisper of "the elk resting in a meadow east of the Bridger Mountains" convinced him to retire and return to Montana. Our money says the whispers of Arent Fox LLP will ultimately prove more convincing. This is HUFFPOST HILL for Friday, April 26th, 2013: FAA FURLOUGH BILL PASSES, GRANDMA STILL STARVING - America's poor preschoolers might still have to pawn their Thomas the Tank Engine backpack to eat because Head Start funding is down, but don't worry! You'll soon have to spend thirty fewer minutes in the Fox Sports Bar and Grill while waiting for your connection in Charlotte. Mike McAuliff: "Lawmakers passed a bill Friday to ease air traffic delays before catching their own flights home for a week off, leaving unchanged other painful effects of the across-the-board spending cuts mandated by Congress' sequestration law...cuts that are harming care for cancer patients, closing children out of preschool and ending food programs for the elderly remain in place. The $85 billion in mandatory cuts this year are a result of the Budget Control Act of 2011, which Congress passed after its standoff over raising the nation's debt limit... The theory [was] that sequestration would be so painful that Congress wouldn't let it happen. But Congress and the 'super committee; tasked with the budget-cutting job failed anyway..faced with an outcry from the flying public over delays caused by sequester-related furloughs at the Federal Aviation Administration, the Senate acted Thursday night and the House followed suit Friday, voting 361 to 41 to give the FAA budget flexibility otherwise barred by the sequester law." [HuffPost] POLITICIAN SAYS ONE THING, DOES ANOTHER - Pork nom nom nom nom nom nom nom. Lucia Graves: "Republicans on Wednesday attacked the Department of Energy for its investment in struggling electric car company Fisker Automotive. Fisker laid off a majority of its workers this month after receiving $192 million in federal aid as part of the Obama administration's Advanced Technology Vehicles Manufacturing loan program, designed to aid car companies pursuing energy efficiency. Rep. Jim Jordan (R-Ohio), chairman of the House Oversight Committee's economic growth, job creation and regulatory affairs subcommittee, said at Wednesday's hearing that the department should never have given California-based Fisker a loan in the first place... 'It was rated triple-C plus. It was a junk-grade investment.' Fisker is yet another car manufacturer that finds itself struggling after applying for money from the department's ATVM program, alongside Coda Automotive. That company, based in Ohio, had also sought a loan from Energy, and among the lawmakers who pushed for that loan was Jordan....Jordan was also among the Ohio lawmakers to request a loan guarantee for the commercialization of the American Centrifuge Plant, a uranium enrichment facility in Piketon, Ohio. With its rating of triple-C, the plant represents a riskier investment than Fisker did with a rating of triple-C plus." [HuffPost] DAILY DELANEY DOWNER - Go ahead and heighten your fears. "U.S. economic growth regained speed in the first quarter, but not as much as expected, which could heighten fears the already weakening economy could struggle to handle deep government spending cuts and higher taxes. Gross domestic product expanded at 2.5 percent annual rate, the Commerce Department said on Friday, after growth nearly stalled at 0.4 percent in the fourth quarter. The increase, however, missed economists' expectations for a 3.0 percent growth pace. [Reuters] Does somebody keep forwarding you this newsletter? Get your own copy. It's free! Sign up here. Send tips/stories/photos/events/fundraisers/job movement/juicy miscellanea to huffposthill@huffingtonpost.com. Follow us on Twitter - @HuffPostHill LEAVES OF ASS: MAX BAUCUS' MAWKISH REASONS FOR LEAVING SENATE - The Montana Democrat published an op-ed in the Great Falls Tribune wherein he detailed his reasoning for retiring: "This was not an easy decision (to not seek re-election), but the last few months I’ve felt the calling: It whispered to me among the elk resting in a meadow east of the Bridger Mountains. I heard it as thousands of snow geese flew over the Rocky Mountain Front. The pull came up from my soul like the ducks that rose in clouds from the winter wheat fields of Teton County at dusk. And, I thought I might never go back to Washington when we got stuck in the mud trying to drive through the Castle Mountains a few weeks ago." [Great Falls Tribune] HOUSE ADDRESSES HELIUM SHORTAGE, BECAUSE NOBLE GASSES ARE THE MOST PATRIOTIC OF ALL THE GASSES - Congress is on it. WaPo: "The Federal Helium Program -- left over from the age of zeppelins and an infamous symbol of Washington’s inability to cut what it no longer needs -- will be terminated. Unless it isn’t. On Friday, in fact, the House voted 394 to 1 to keep it alive. 'Many people don’t believe that the federal government should be in the helium business. And I would agree,' Rep. Doc Hastings (R-Wash.) said on the House floor Thursday. But at that very moment, Hastings was urging his colleagues to keep the government in the helium business for a little while longer. 'We must recognize the realities of our current situation,' he said. The problem is that the private sector has not done what some politicians had predicted it would -- step into a role that government was giving up. The federal helium program sells vast amounts of the gas to U.S. companies that use it in everything from party balloons to MRI machines. If the government stops, no one else is ready. There are fears of shortages." [WaPo] Rep. Hank Johnson is a friend of helium. WaPo: "Rep. Hank Johnson (D-Ga.) on Thursday offered a stemwinder of a speech in favor of the helium legislation before the House this week. 'Imagine, Mr. Speaker, a world without balloons,' Johnson said, apparently in jest. 'How can we make sure that the injustice of there being no helium for comedians to get that high-pitched voice that we all hold near and dear to our hearts.' Johnson continued: 'Too often lately, this body has sat deflated — not for lack of hot air, mind you. But seriously, ladies and gentlemen, unlike a noble element, this House has failed to act on Americans’ real concerns.'" [WaPo] NAVEL GAZES AT NAVEL GAZING AT NAVEL GAZING AT NAVEL - In millions of years, when an advanced alien species sifts through the ashes of our once great civilization, they'll discover this week's incestuous "Behind the Curtain" column from Mike Allen and Jim VandeHei and remark, "Blorg ::click:: blorg ::click:: blarg blorg ::snort::" (that's Blorgblorg for "Smart take"). "Talk about incestuous," the pair says of a passage from Mark Leibovich's forthcoming book on Beltway culture, "This Town." "A top Obama official cashes in with a top corporation with the help of a top Washington fixer and gets top-shelf treatment from one of Washington’s top journalists (who also happens to be the co-byline on this piece.)." They continue: "But in the spirit of D.C.’s most incestuous weekend of the year, the White House Correspondents’ Association dinner, we thought we’d have some fun and do some reporting on his reporting on our friends, sources and subjects to find out who else should worry most about his book." The intensity of the feedback loop is astonishing (as is their description of Allen as "one of Washington's top journalists"). It's like a mobius strip of day-winning (or an Ouroboros of game changing?). Whatever the case, we quit. [Politico] We asked Leibovich for his take on the story. "What story?" he asked. Jason Linkins: "Yes, Allen is pretty sure he is a 'top journalist;' after all, the entire existence of Allen's regular 'Behind The Curtain' feature is already predicated on the assumption that he is a top journalist. Of course, maybe co-author Jim VandeHei insisted this be included? Or he wrote this part himself? However it happened, it makes sense that the paragraph began with the words, 'Talk about incestuous.'" [HuffPost] PSLGOPL agrees: "I would like to buy Jason Linkins a beer. America thanks you." RAND PAUL LEADS 2016 NEW HAMPSHIRE POLL, HEADED TO SWING STATES - Of course, if we remember correctly, "Ronald Reagan's Spleen" was leading the pack at this point in the 2012 primary, so take this with a grain of salt. Courier-Journal: "Paul is the favorite of 28 percent of potential Republican primary voters, according to Public Policy Polling. He leads Florida Sen. Marco Rubio, at 25 percent; New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie, 14 percent; former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush and Wisconsin Rep. Paul Ryan, 7 percent each; former Pennsylvania Sen. Rick Santorum, 4 percent; New Mexico Gov. Susana Martinez, 3 percent; and Texas Gov. Rick Perry and Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal, 1 percent each. Paul is scheduled to speak to the New Hampshire Republican Party’s Liberty Day Dinner on May 20. That’s 10 days after an address to the Republican Party of Iowa’s Lincoln Day Dinner in Cedar Rapids." [Courier-Journal] "8 Reasons Why We'd Be Better Off Governed By Sloths" Turns out Bill Nelson ISN'T running for governor. NBC News: "On MSNBC's 'Jansing &Co.,' Sen. Bill Nelson (D-Fla.) said he has 'no intention' to run for Florida governor next year. 'Look, I have no plans to run for governor. I have no intention of running for governor,' said Nelson, who won re-election last November. 'I love this job as senator, except that I am very, very frustrated as we have discussed this morning -- that we can't get anything done because you can't get people together to build consensus.' Nelson's statement comes after Roll Call quoted a 'senior Democratic official' who said that the senator was considering challenging Republican Gov. Rick Scott." [NBC News] LET'S TALK ABOUT SEX, BABY: ABSOLUTELY NO REPUBLICAN - Nick Wing: "Republicans would rather let their son or daughter keep a farm animal in his or her dorm room or break an ankle while running naked than host a sex ed class, according to the results of a recent 60 Minutes/Vanity Fair Poll. The poll asked, 'If you had a child in their first year of college, what is the last thing you would like to hear about him or her?' Overall, 25 percent of parents would shiver at news their darling was making fake IDs, and 24 percent said they'd most disapprove of their kid holding the record for consuming Jell-O shots. Yet among Republicans, 28 percent identified hosting a sexual education class in their dorm twice a week as the worst possible scenario for their child, compared to just 10 percent of parents who preferred their child break an ankle while streaking, and 6 percent who chose 'having a farm animal in their room.'" [HuffPost] KARL ROVE REMINISCES ABOUT GEORGE W. BUSH, OUR FIFTH-GREATEST PRESIDENT - Nick Wing: "Former President George W. Bush isn't quite a George Washington or an Abraham Lincoln, his former campaign strategist Karl Rove admitted to ABC News on Thursday, but according to Rove, he's not too far off. 'The greats, you can't touch: George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Ronald Reagan, FDR,' Rove said in Dallas at the dedication of the George W. Bush Presidential Center. 'But yeah, I'd put him up there.' Rove's claim came after an aggressive defense of Bush's legacy, which he said history would view favorably more quickly than most thought. Bush left office in 2009 as the most unpopular outgoing president in the history of Gallup polling. Rove pointed to a recent poll that showed his popularity at 47 percent to argue that Bush was already experiencing a turnaround." [HuffPost] BECAUSE YOU'VE READ THIS FAR - Child is distraught by mail delivery. HuffPost Hiccup: Yesterday we called our Former Abramoff Lobbyist Pissed At Things "PSLGOPL," the initialism for our Paranoid Self-Loathing GOP Lobbyist. Yes, these are two real people, and we apologize for mixing them up. As a token of our contrition, here is Wendell, The Republican Puppy. COMFORT FOOD - Child falls asleep while eating chicken. YOLO. [http://bit.ly/ZzJXuI] - If you haven't already, a teaser clip from the upcoming "Arrested Development" season has been released. [http://bit.ly/14TZhpd] - Tom Waits and Cookie Monster perform a duet. [http://bit.ly/ZRNMqB] - The Edward Scissorhands of comically large fruit cuts a watermelon in under 30 seconds. He's like the thinking man's Gallagher. [http://bit.ly/12tq33j] - What happens when you're followed on Twitter... literally. [http://bit.ly/12MATCu] - Guatemalan funeral parlor is the best funeral parlor. [http://bit.ly/11JVjJO] - Meet Bongo, the baby antelope. [http://bit.ly/ZSPc3f] TWITTERAMA @dcjourno: @JimVandeHei @mikeallen Great running into you guys at therapy this morning! @jaredpolis: OMG @replouiegohmert "This admin. has so many Muslim brotherhood members that have influence" NOT TRUE; 0 members in admin @ChrisMurphyCT: At #Bassick I tried to get @SenBlumenthal and @MayorBillFinch to do the Harlem Shake on stage w me. They declined. Got something to add? Send tips/quotes/stories/photos/events/fundraisers/job movement/juicy miscellanea to Eliot Nelson (eliot@huffingtonpost.com), Ryan Grim (ryan@huffingtonpost.com) or Arthur Delaney (arthur@huffingtonpost.com). Follow us on Twitter @HuffPostHill (twitter.com/HuffPostHill). Sign up here: http://huff.to/an2k2e

Ian Crouch, The New YorkerGeorge Jones, the man with perhaps the most distinctive and iconic voice in country music, died on Friday in Nashville at the age of eighty-one.In the first moments after the news broke, thousands of people reached the same conclusion at the same time, a nice instance of hive-mind solidarity, and the Spotify and YouTube tracking numbers will surely reveal a massive spike for his song “He Stopped Loving Her Today,” which is one of the great sad songs in the American songbook, written by Bobby Braddock and Curly Putman. Jones took it to No. 1 on the country charts in 1980....

Patrick Gavin, PoliticoTom Brokaw blames it all on Lindsay Lohan.Last year, Brokaw became one of the biggest critics of the annual White House Correspondents’ Dinner after he saw Washington buzzing around and about the troubled Hollywood actress, who was a guest of Fox News’s Greta Van Susteren.“The breaking point for me was Lindsay Lohan,” Brokaw told POLITICO during a recent interview in his office in the NBC News Rockefeller Plaza headquarters in New York. “She became a big star at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner. Give me a...

Greg Scoblete, RealClearWorldSlowly but steadily, the United States (scratch that, Washington, DC) is talking itself into a deeper involvement in Syria's civil war. There are already reports indicating that the U.S. is taking an active hand in determining which Syrian rebel groups will receive shipments of weapons purchased by Gulf allies. The CIA has reportedly been training "secular" fighters in Jordan to send into the fray.All the while, the Obama administration has been goaded ever-deeper by a series of dubious arguments about U.S. involvement in Syria's civil war. Four, in particular, have...

Joseph Curl, WTDALLAS — Shortly after Barack Obama was elected in 2008, a fellow reporter who’d covered President George W. Bush all eight years told me she’d had enough of the travel and stress and strain of the White House beat, that she was moving on. We reminisced about all the places we’d been, all the crazy days and wild nights, all the history we’d seen — first hand. Just before we said our goodbyes, I asked her if she’d miss covering President Obama. 

Jonathan Bernstein, Washington PostGeorge W. Bush is not remembered with any enthusiasm currently. That’s not likely to change.Whatever way it’s measured, he’s not doing too well. Gallup has his retrospective approval at 47 percent; that’s third-lowest in the polling era, better than only Richard Nixon and Lyndon Johnson (Harry Enten has more on placing post-presidential approval in context). As far as historians and other students of the presidency, it’s even worse; Bush falls in the bottom quarter of the ratings surveys in which he’s been included.In terms of...

Harold Meyerson, Am ProspectYesterday—April 24th—was a red-letter day in the annals of worker mobilization in post-collective-bargaining America. In Chicago, hundreds of fast-food and retail employees who work in the Loop and along the Magnificent Mile called a one-day strike and demonstrated for a raise to $15-an-hour and the right to form a union. At more than 150 Wal-Mart stores across the nation, workers and community activists called on the chain to regularize employees’ work schedules. And under pressure from an AFL-CIO-backed campaign of working-class voters who primarily...

Philip Klein, DC ExaminerPolitico shook up the health care policy world Wednesday night with a report that members of Congress in both parties were holding secret talks to try to exempt members and their staffs from Obamacare. Before I get into the complicated layers of issues involved, the bigger picture is this: members of Congress and their staffs are grappling with the type of uncertainty and logistical headaches that individuals and businesses are struggling with as they try to adapt to life under an extremely complex and poorly drafted law.The essential issue is this. Back in Sept. 2009, when the Finance...

Amy Sullivan, National JournalThe Grain Exchange Room in Milwaukee’s old Chamber of Commerce building is a dazzling display of Gilded Age opulence. Its ornate faux-marble columns soar three stories high, and an intricately carved balcony overlooks what is believed to have been the world’s first commodities-exchange trading pit. This temple to business and success was a fitting location for Mitt Romney’s victory speech after the Wisconsin primary a year ago, on the night he eclipsed his last remaining rival for the Republican presidential nomination.Romney used the occasion to lay out his...